Welcome to 100 Ways to Die in Space
Hi there bloggies, welcome to a new and fun little feature – 100 ways to die in space. Taking inspiration from a million ways to die in the west I’ll be taking a somewhat tongue in cheek at the many and various ways that space is somewhat unkind to the average human being and it pretty effective at killing them very quickly. Step aboard and see what happens, just don’t come on wearing a red top!
Method 19 – Jumping
This is something that is a little bit – yeah right ok. Let’s think about it though. Oh it doesn’t have the awe of being spaghettified by a black hole or the drama of being sucked into space but jumping is a real issue. The thing is it’s not the jumping itself that’s the issue – it’s what comes after.
If a human was to land on a small object, for example an asteroid and then promptly jump the issue becomes one of getting stranded. Ok you might float right away which is rather unfortunate, especially if you’re the one with the keys to the spacecraft – all your mates can do it watch and say ‘fuck it’ becasue no one brought the spare.
The net result is that death occurs slowly by means of suit oxygen running out – whether you’re floating away or standing there spactating as the disaster takes place.
On the Moon or Mars this might not be the issue in the sense of leaving the celestial body that’s been decided to land upon but if enough height is reached, with little to no air to drag you as your inevitable descent takes place the results could be a little less than ideal. Pretty much falling into the falling category (no pun intended). The only upside is your mates can retrieve the keys…
So it best to not get too jumpy. Keep your feet on the ground is sound advice at any time!
© Simon Farnell 2013 – 2023