This is Part 1 of the Blog Battle Entry for May 2022 and the prompt is Pastoral.
Part 1 can be found here.
The Alien in the Park – Part 2
Squid sauntered home from school and passed Ramik Nimbus the third, again he sat next to him. His head was looking quite red in sun, Squid did wonder why his head stuck out of the hat. He never got to ask him why it did though….
“That was great wasn’t it laddy?”
“What do you mean?” Asked Squid.
“That Fergus, making him slip up like that and smacking his head.” Ramik allowed himself a wicked chuckle.
“That was you was it?” Squid asked.
“Ya-P! He’s an obnoxious toad, maybe he’ll give you some peace now for the next few days.”
“Next few days?” Squid asked. “Why only a few days, the school says the doctor’s think he’ll be off for three weeks.”
“The world is going to end in a few days… I told you.”
“I know – but I thought you were joking.” Squid replied.
“No, it’s still going ahead but it’ll be after dinner now, the planning guys have finally got used to how time on this planet works.”
“That’s good, at least I can have dinner. I wish it wasn’t ending though then I could watch crazy kids on tv like I normally do on Tuesdays.”
“I can’t re-plan it again. Sorry.”
“It’s ok.” Squid replied I’m sure it’ll be ok anyway.
“Yeah you tell yourself that laddie!”
Squid didn’t have anything more to say, Ramik Nimbus the third started jabbering away in his strange dialect so he left again. Over the next few days Squid passed Ramik Nimbus the third every day to and from school and he sat with him and talked to him about bits of life and this and that. It was quite clear that Ramik Nimbus the third was as mad as a box of frogs and Squid thought he might not even be human. He still insisted that the world was going on end on Tuesday at 6.15pm no matter what.
Until Monday that is when something funny happened. Again. On the way home from School Squid saw Ramik Nimbus the third…
“Right there laddie, I’ve sorted you out proper. I’ve cancelled the end of the world for a few billion years so you should be ok for your time at least. You don’t live that long do you?”
Squid smiled “No we don’t. Thank you, I really appreciate that.”
“You’re welcome laddie, now if you don’t mind I’ve got to get going now and I’m off to the next planet scheduled for assessment. If you could stand back please. By the way you don’t have any of those pastie’s do you?”
“No sorry I don’t” Squid replied.
“Shame that, I kind of liked it. Look after yourself and make sure you look after the planet as well as yourself. If there’s any issues with the end of the world thing get in touch with planning. If I don’t hear from you I’ll assume all is good. Thank you for being a good human!”
“That’s ok -“
In a beam of light Ramik Nimbus the third was gone, Squid assumed he had beamed up to his ship or whatever they might call it.
Funny things that happen in life can sometimes be not at all funny, in fact they’re the opposite of funny so it’s strange why we call them funny really. At 6.14 on Tuesday Squid sat down to watch Crazy kids on TV. His parents were watching the 6 O’Clock news and some story about a crazy sect predicting the end of the world was the headline. At the same time a long way away the ‘planning guys’ got a little bit mixed up and the orders to release the Super Dimensional Laser on Earth somehow got there before the cancel order. In a beam of bright blue light the Earth shone up for a few seconds and was suddenly gone.
As a side note to this it hurt quite a lot, it stung like a wotsit.
A few moments later the cancel order came through. The planning guys had an issue, it took a few days for fingers to be pointed and blame apportioned it was decided to blame some guy on Earth called Boris. Pulling on a huge lever the planning guys re-activated the laser – the ray shout out again and in a few seconds the Earth was back.
Like it was said at the start – this was a funny story.
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Simon's Space 
Not what I expected! 🙂 It was a bit suspicious when RN3 told Squid they weren’t going to destroy the world after all, so suspense was nicely built there. I can’t help but wonder, after the world was brought back, did everybody think ‘That stung like a wotsit – what the bleep just happened?’ And did the aliens put the Earth back where it was when they blasted it, or where it should have been in orbit a few days later? Either way, the time screw-up will complicate things a bit! Fun read!
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Oh I love that you were thinking of these things, I had the same thoughts myself and it would be a little like the 5 year gap after the Thanos snap.
I’m pleased it surprised, I was going to leave the Earth blown to bit but then I felt sorry for Squid 🙂
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Maybe mad as a box of frogs…a reference by which the end might be in doubt as a bloke with a board munching conspiracy theory chocolates. I guess most would look at any declaring such as one of those thinking about it.
Bit tough if it’s the real deal and missed though! As it was the case, albeit temporary. Nice touch with BoJo though… if in doubt one assumes a certain cabinet is ultimately cocking it up!
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Aren’t they always? 😉
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A wonderfully dry humour story Simon, neatly put together. I did like the way the narrative kept twisting in the last lines. With his back story Squid’s very fatalistic acceptance of the situation made complete sense.
And anyway it probably was Boris’ fault, that was a nice wry inclusion.
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Hehe… I like a little dry humour and silliness. I wasn’t originally going to bring the world back – but I felt sorry for Squid
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I’m glad you did Simon. It adds to the theme. After all any outfit can destroy Earth it takes some particular special wackiness to have an outfit who say…’Oops!’ Press a button and bring the planet back.
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I know it’s a new kinda whacky lol
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It appealed to my Civil Service brain 😀
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That is whacky lol
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You had to be there😂
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Thank you I really enjoyed that. 🙂
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Thank you – I’m pleased you did 🙂
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