Welcome to 100 Ways to Die in Space

Hi there bloggies, welcome to a new and fun little feature – 100 ways to die in space. Taking inspiration from a million ways to die in the west I’ll be taking a somewhat tongue in cheek at the many and various ways that space is somewhat unkind to the average human being and it pretty effective at killing them very quickly. Step aboard and see what happens, just don’t come on wearing a red top!

Method 11 – Getting left behind

Space exploration is just like any other journey you go there, to wherever it is and come back home. The thing is you need to make sure you bring everything back you’re meant to – especially people. After all it’s not like you can go back to get them, at the moment space travel is not really like that for us. If you get left behind that it, you’re a gonner. One of either three things will finish you – lack of air, food or water. So make sure you get back.

The thing is with getting left behind is hard to pinpoint where the blame lies. If the pilot has a serious counting deficiency then the cock womble crown rests firmly on their head. But what about if the poor soul left behind is the cockwomble? Practical jokes, being a arsehole and farting could all be contributing factors in this.
Living close to someone can lead to extreme acts.

Getting left behind is a huge issue for space travel, fuel and speed trajectories mean that even if you wanted to go back there would be no way of doing this. The only hope for the poor soul left behind is that he slips into unconsciousness from carbon dioxide exposure… Or hope that aliens carry out rescue missions.

That’s not a lot of hope – so it’s best to make sure that if you’re out there. You’re not left behind!

© Simon Farnell 2013 – 2021


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27 thoughts on “100 Ways to Die in Space – # 11 Getting left behind

  1. Being uncouth and farting around ones fellow space travelers is definitely a good way to miss your ride home. Farting should be contained to ones own space suit which by default would eliminate that problem. I’ve always been concerned about seeing astronauts running across some vast plain in a bulky space suit with a huge oxygen rebreather backpack. If one should trip over some piece of petrified alien shit, and fall down, it would be like a turtle on it’s back trying to get up. Or, driving some sort of space buggy across open terrain only to go over an unseen cliff like Thelma and Louise. There may not be much gravity out there, but I’m positive such vehicles don’t have an extended glide path. I would suggest taking material along to properly mark the sites of such tragedies before heading home.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All good suggestions I’m sure I remember one of the Apollo astronauts falling over on his back and it causing a bit of a stir.

      I like the thought of Alien shit causing issues – I may have to add that to the list 😀

      Like

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