100 Ways to Die in Space – # 1 Going too Slowly

Welcome to 100 Ways to Die in Space

Hi there bloggies, welcome to a new and fun little feature – 100 ways to die in space. Taking inspiration from a million ways to die in the west I’ll be taking a somewhat tongue in cheek at the many and various ways that space is somewhat unkind to the average human being and it pretty effective at killing them very quickly. Step aboard and see what happens, just don’t come on wearing a red top!

Method 1 – Moving too Slowly.

The thing is with space is you have to get there, to do this you need some kind of spacecraft and you have to be moving fast enough in order to escape the gravitational pull off the planet while also moving the mass of the spacecraft and everything on board.

Many reading this might argue that this should not be included in one of the many ways to die in space as the poor sod hasn’t got there yet but in order to get into space this has to happen so ironically – it flies.

Because of the intricacies around this science it doesn’t take much for someone to slip up – improper weigh in, sneaked on a gorilla costume or one too many pork pies before lift off it all amounts to the same thing. If you’re not moving fast enough you ain’t going to get there and this generally doesn’t turn into a happy ending.

It doesn’t take much to imagine the terror as the fuel runs out on the space vehicle, looking out desperately trying to work out what to do – and all becasue you packed that gorilla suit as a jape to scare the willies out of someone else on the station for lols.

The general procedure in this case is to jump out or you’ll find yourself scattered over a fairly wide area so the thing to do here is simple. Make sure there’s enough fuel on board, keep off the pork pies and don’t pack the extra gorilla suit. It makes sense and avoid costly crashes. People tend to get upset when rockets crash as they cost a few bob.

© Simon Farnell 2013 – 2022

---

• WordPress
• Link
• Mail
• Twitter
• Instagram
• Pinterest

---

Blog Orbit – Blog Date August 2022

Hello there bloggies! I can’t believe we’re already 10 days into August and I’ve not posted for a few week. That’s a bit bad of me… Over here on this little island the ship is sinking with no one at the helm, or we would be sinking if it wasn’t quite so dry here, we’re …

The Squirrel Cage Cutter

Back in early spring when food was hard to come by for all our feathered and furry friends the local squirrel (or one of them) was as is usual helping himself to the birsds nuts and it seems they were having some difficulty getting to the nuts inside. This was evident from the way the …

FIGEL and the intern

This is my Blog Battle Entry for July 2022 and the prompt is Hatch. Figel and the Intern Figel Narage was one of the most annoying, self righteous and obnoxious individuals to work at the Jacob and Bradley management consultancy. He was also totally incompetent however he had managed through all kind of obnoxious schemes …