It had to be said that Harry’s Boris suit looked like it would fool his mother. This was a terrifying thought so they agreed to leave it there. Boris had been no trouble at all, once Miranda had zapped him, Gaz had jumped on his back and was hitting him across the head. Then both Harry and Ralph had knocked him unconscious with things that looked suspiciously like baseball bats. It had only taken three good firm whacks – each.
Ralph had rather enjoyed the experience, hitting the man that seemed like such an annoyance for so long until he was unconscious was therapeutic. Ralph decided more people should try it.
“So how’s this going to work?” Miranda asked Harry. “If you get caught I can’t help you!”
“I know!” Harry sighed. “But we have to find the service station before the Borians!”
“Right, it’s early in the morning and I’m going to drop you off not far away near this big white building.”
“That’s Buck Palace!” Ralph intervened.
“Whatever.” Miranda dismissed. “Get ready, you know where we’ll be waiting for you.. Just try and blend in and don’t make a scene ok?” Miranda took the controls of the spacecraft and guided it downwards towards the long straight road that stretched out in front of her on the viewer.
Strange and unusual things happen to us all in life. The universe has a certain way of playing tricks on the mind, leaving us to question our perception, our eyes or our mental state. Sometimes all three. In this instance a tramp called Derek was just waking from his night out on his park bench, he usually slept here. His bag with the few possessions he had were his pillow and a sheet of cardboard protected him from, well, not much really. It was at this instant as he stared out onto the road and folded up his cardboard sheet that from out of nowhere a brown mini appeared and at massive speed disappeared.
Jim sat there stunned for a moment, pieces of paper and dust swept over him and an empty drinks can rattled down the road in the wake of the draft that was caused. Derek sat there, unmoved. Eventually he exclaimed that he knew now! What it was that he knew is likely to keep poets and philosophers guessing for centuries, but for now this is not important. What is important is this – Derek’s life was now changed.
“What am I looking for?” Harry cursed as he rooted through the office. Books and documents flying everywhere. For the first half an hour Harry and tried to keep the office tidy, then he lost his patience and just scoured the office for the clue that was somewhere in it. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, Harry tried pathetically to hide the mess, standing in front of his desk, grinning.
“Come in!” Harry breathlessly called, trying to remain calm. A young well dressed blonde woman opened the door.
“I need to go through your schedule for today sir, is now a good time?” She politely asked.
“Err, well not right now really? Can it wait?” Harry bumbled in his best Boris impression, trying but failing to to look inconspicuous.
“That’s ok.” The assistant replied. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, are you ok sir?”
“Yes, yes I’m fine Harry grinned.” The assistant made her way out, Harry turned to carry on then she came back in.
“Sorry, nearly forgot, the PM is coming to see you in ten minutes!” Finally the assistant left, closing the large panelled Oak door behind her.
“Dammit! Ten minutes?” Harry cursed (again). It was then that Harry stopped and thought. His foot moved squeaking and old floor board.
“The clue is in the office!” He mumbled to himself “This furniture and all the stuff can be moved, so it’s either not in here or…” Harry pulled up the carpet, dragging it back as far as he could. Nothing, he moved the furniture to the centre as much as he could, the bookcase falling and blocking the door. There was a knock.
“Are you sure you’re alright sir?” The little voice on the other side of the door sounding concerned.
“Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry!” Harry called back.
“I’m going to get some help sir!” The assistant sounded insistent.
Harry ignored her, it would take someone a while to get through the door anyway. Pulling at the carpet as hard as he could Harry lost his balance and feel back. Getting up he rubbed his head.
“There you are my lovely!” He mumbled in quiet delight. There in front of him carved into a floor board in old writing were some symbols he didn’t recognise. But the did recognise the GGSS in old lettering. Out of the inside pocked of his suit he picked out a long silver object. It was a laser-o-cut device. Pointing at the board he lasered it out of the rest of the board and tucked it under his suit. He got up and looked around, he still had to get out and the only way right now was a narrow window.
“Boris, what are you doing in there?” Harry knew it must be the PM. “I’m here to talk about your favourite subject Boris, you know Bre…”
“Shut up you old crone!” Harry yelled. He pushed the window open and jumped out. His suit was fitted with a float-o-matic-flight-enabler. So he glided out of the window and down onto the street below, where stunned onlookers stood and gawped.
“What are you all looking at?” Harry growled, he made his way to the Mini, got in and was off like a shot. The sound of annoyed drivers sounding their horns could be heard for some way.
“What do we do now?” the advisor asked the PM.
The PM sat back in her seat, thoughtful for a moment. In the thick quiet the followed the sound of a letter falling from the board behind her was more than obvious.
“Call the fleet in, she instructed. When they ask why, tell them that the Borians might be close to finding the Great Galactic Service Station.”
“Tell them to bring Mars bars and fuel too. Me may have to either fight or negotiate. Also make sure they pack in some of my favourite pasties, I haven’t had one for ages!”
The advisor left the room, closing the door behind him.
“How can you be so sure?” A dark serious man asked the PM. She wandered over to the window and looked out over London.
“They’ve been looking for it for so long, what else could it be?” The PM replied.
“Is war the answer?” The man asked coldly.
“What other way is there?” The PM scolded back.
“I’ll signal to my fleet as well!” The man pulled out his phone and he too left.
“I recognise these, they’re Tryllian hyroglyphs!” Miranda announced, se was peering through a magni-glass as the old symbols carved in the wood that Harry handed her. “IRIS should be able to decipher them!”
“I’ll go and take it to IRIS” Harry picked up the wood and started for the control centre.
“Err, you might want to look at this!” Ralph announced.
“What is it human?” Miranda sighed.
“Look” Ralph told her, showing her the BBC news channel.
Miranda’s mouth dropped, images of a Mini zooming out of central London, similar to one seen in Grimsby a few days before. Then there was the smartphone video of Boris Johnson floating out of a window, alighting on the ground. Then on the bottom scroll, reports of a Boris imposter.
“Well?” Questioned Ralph. Harry was quiet.
“Have you seen that? The price of chocolate has gone up!”
“Not that!” Said Ralph.
“I know human! What were you thinking of Harry? I said keep a low profile!” Miranda scolded.
“I couldn’t help it!” Harry complained. “It was either that or I was going to get found out!”
Miranda put her head in her hands. “What can’t anything go the way it should?”
“There’s more too!” Grated Gaz, I have word that there are four other battle fleets on their way towards Earth. It seems they think the Borians know where the Great Galactic Service Station is!”
To be continued…
©Simon Farnell 2017