Kindness Challenge Week 2 – Self Compassion

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Week 2 Theme | Self-Compassion

Having compassion for others entails sympathy or empathy for their discomfort and suffering. This week we’re going to work on showing ourselves compassion. For some of us that might mean not being so hard on ourselves, not holding ourselves up to standards of perfection, or easing up on the negative self-talk. Many struggle with being their own worst critic, this week we are going to strive to be warm, understanding, and encouraging with ourselves.

week-2-self-compassion

This is the theme of Week 2 of the kindness challenge, taken from the post above the Kindness Challenge is being run by Niki from Richness of a Simple Life. The challenge is being run in order to help people explore the kindness they show to themselves and others in their daily lives.

Week 1’s Challenge is here:

https://sfarnell.wordpress.com/2017/05/14/kindness-challenge-week-1-self-love/


Self Compassion Exercise

So this week I’ve been keeping a note on what it is I’ve been saying about myself in a negative way and making a conscious note of it. The idea is that I can apply the lessons of loving myself from last week to be able to counter this negativity.

These are some of the things that I’ve been saying about myself this week:

  • I’m crap about showing myself self compassion.
  • I almost always soldier on no matter how I feel.
  • I don’t rest when I can.
  • I’m quite self deprecating.

So, there are some stories behind this all is that when baking some cookies, I burned myself in a stupid way (don’t ask). Being the bold kind chap I am I carried on as I said I would in a bit of pain. Even making more as I said I would. As it got late, it was pointed out that I could have just left the second lot. This is when the penny dropped, I realised that I should have left it rather than carry on – to sort out the burn and just to rest.

As for being self deprecating, it’s kind of a mask, a humour mask. I often joke about my age or losing my hair or something and while it’s meant in a jovial way it’s still self harm. This also slides into the fact that I cannot take a compliment – I can’t. I don’t know what to do about it. BUT I also get offended with criticism.

Basically… I need to do some work on my thinking and how my brain works. How I do this – I’m really not sure. It’s going to take a while and I need to be aware that I’m like this and come up with strategies for dealing with these everyday situations, like a script of words and or actions that I MUST do to make myself comfortable in these situations.

For example:

  • If I’m criticized then not beat myself up over it.
  • I’m I’m complimented, thank the person rather than shy away, show appreciation and smile with a big beaming smile, maybe even be slightly silly about it.
  • Leave the self depreciation for when my hair really falls out 😛
  • Rest, chill and leave things whenever I can.

This I have to try and keep up for the rest of my life… It could be difficult!

Simon 🙂

 

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48 thoughts on “Kindness Challenge Week 2 – Self Compassion”

  1. It’s hard to change the way we think about ourselves, especially when we’ve been thinking a certain way for a long time. But being aware of it means you’re half way there Si so be kind to yourself. Keep laughing but don’t be scared to accept a compliment, you’re pretty cool okay? 😎

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I think it will get easier as you get more used to it. And having a script in your head is a good idea. A simple thank you with a smile is enough and when you’re comfortable with that, you can maybe do more.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I do and I hate that feeling. I’m usually really good at self reflection so I spend some time thinking things through and can usually figure myself out. Though sometimes I don’t act on what I figured out. That’s the worst.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It helps to have someone to give you a soft kick in the pants(trousers for you Brits 😛) to help you do what’s best for you.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate to your points very well…. been there! I love the example with the compliments. It is exactly what I started doing. Enjoy a compliment and say thank you. It is wonderful when other people see your light shining through. Most people tend to be much harder to themselves and so much more tolerant of others…. but why? We are all worth it!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Thank you so much for sharing Simon! It can be difficult to change but the beginning is the hardest. Just being aware of it opens the door to being mindful and taking the effort to change it. The more you practice the easier it gets. I love how supportive your community is, both encouraging and helping to keep you accountable. I believe this last week of self-kindness will take this a step further and support you in taking action. I can’t wait to hear how you round up the first part of the challenge. Thanks again for sharing! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Someone once told me that it takes 21 days to break a habit. I don’t know who decided this, or how they measured it, but isn’t it great to have a number to work with? So you’re already on your way to changing your thinking and being in a happier place – just keep doing what you’re doing for the next 3 weeks! Good luck 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I relate on not being able to take compliments! I’ve started doing what you yourself have decided to do, just smile and say thank you haha. Perhaps “fake it till you make it” may hold some truth!

    Liked by 1 person

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