Jumping on a Hate Bandwagon

How may people reading this have been the subject of bullying or intimdation, not just by one person, but a number of people? I can imagine quite a few. The thing with it is though, why oh why is it that when one person decided to hate, that a whole load of other jump on the bandwagon?

Back in 2014 I had the dis-pleasure of working for a guy called Jim. He had done me a good turn and had given me a job when I needed one, I was grateful. But suddenly things beyond my control happened and at a time when I needed some emotional support he metaphorically and repeatedly kicked me when I was down. He was a total fucking bastard!

What made me even more desperate was that it seemed everyone in the team I was working with got behind him and decided to nit pick every thing I did wrong. To say I felt bad doesn’t even begine to descibe it. I’m not an emotional person, but even I couldn’t switch these feelings off. Constantly on edge, stressed and everything. It was unbelieveable what I had to put up with.

I got away from there fortunately, I found another job to which he asked me (and I quote) “where are you pissing off to?” I wanted to say anywhere away from you is better than here, but I maintained my calm and finished my last week in my usual way. He never said goodbye or goodluck – nothing. To say I hate Jim is an understatement and I will forever be damaged from the way he was an wonder why he became like this. But I will always remember to be carful about jumping on hate bandwagons from now on and do my best to stay away from them. No matter what the cost.

Simon πŸ™‚

 

 

 

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60 thoughts on “Jumping on a Hate Bandwagon”

  1. Sorry you were treated so appallingly! I have not experienced bullying/hate in the workplace, but I did experience it for some time as a child in a new school… it was awful.
    I think Jim and others like him, are really “broken” people inside. They have to take out their inner darkness on other people, to be able to feel good themselves. It has nothing to do with the “victim” at all. Think about Jim, what a miserable life he will have, keeping on bullying people and them, starting to hate him in turn. While you moved on to better places! I think it is good that you shared this with others here, always good to write bad stuff “out of our own systems”. πŸ™‚ Be well.

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  2. I am sorry you had to endure this inexcusable behavior Simon. It is a phenomenon, seemingly human nature to “jump on the wagon” of bullying. I see this even in children and apparently it carries over to many adults (use term loosely) especially if the head bully is “the boss”. I hope you can move on from this experience, I am glad you removed yourself from that environment.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve wondered this too, why people develop a mob mentality.

    Most advice about getting along well with others focuses on friendliness, but that can’t be the whole story. Too often, people seem impressed by guys like this Jim, or “cool” people who are essentially Aholes.

    Maybe jerkiness is interpreted as strength, or maybe people are afraid of becoming the jerk’s target. Maybe niceness is interpreted as low status?

    I don’t know but there are some unwritten caveman rules behind all this.

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  4. I had a similar experience which completely affected my perception of the workplace even though in my situation it was only a single incident rather that a group gang-up. It has taken me awhile to work through my feelings of betrayal, and even now I still can sense them simmering just under the surface as I think back on those weeks. It is actually part of the reason I picked the theme I did when I started blogging. I recognized that I was allowing those ill feelings to have hold a power over me and I didn’t like the person I’d become. So rather than focusing on all the things that weren’t going my way, I tried to force myself to pay attention to the things that did.

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      1. You’re welcome.
        The way I see it, you should never of had to go through that, so it doesn’t matter how long ago it happened, it is your ‘story’ to tell when you’re ready.
        Love and hugs. x

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  5. I’m sorry I can’t like this post, Simon. Also, deeply sorry you had to endure a ‘Jim’ at work. It is great that you recognized your worth and respect yourself. πŸ™‚ I have a feeling everything will one day ‘work out’ for Jim – karma. I highly doubt Jim could make chocolate chip muffins like you do! πŸ˜€ nom nom nom!! Keep up the awesome job, in life, on your blog, and with your muffins! πŸ˜‰

    ❀ thebrunetteinthepinkscarf

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  6. It all reminds me of the last place I worked. There was the one person who in the effect the “puppy to kick” because they couldn’t express how they felt to others in their life (boss, spouse, best friend) or in general just hated what their life had become. As soon as that person left, the new person (who had already been hired, so not the replacement) became the “puppy to kick.” No matter what, she suffered the brunt of anger for the littlest mistake, while others could just create massive blunders without so much a shrug. In other words, once people find what they consider the “puppy” they’re (to mix metaphors) like sharks with blood in the water.

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  7. I know exactly how you feel. Been there. We are supposed to let go of the hate, as to hang on sours us; easier said than done. We are supposed to forgive them and feel sorry for them (Ha!). Life taught me that folk who do this (or follow them) don’t gather a great deal of true friends or happiness. It’s the ones who move on and try not to make the same mistakes who get the better deal.
    Look at it this way, your amazingly varied blog is bringing joy, and interest to many people. It’s a great contribution to Life. Your work alone; treasure that and the ‘mean folk’ will fade into the obscurity they deserve.
    (I’m guessing from the blog there are other instances where you are putting more in Life- keep on keeping on)
    Final word: The mean spirited never find any sort of peace, they will sink into their own morass- they made their choice. You are rising up, once more—keep on keeping on.

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    1. I intend to keep on going as I am and I’ll find my way to come to terms with it all. These mean people as you say make their own misery and that’s exactly what I find here.
      Thank as usual for your supportive comment πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m shocked and sorry you had to go through that. It’s crappy.
    I’ve been bullied for over 14 years now, and I doubt it will ever leave me. I guess I’ve just got one of those hard-to-like faces and personalities!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Not your fault :). Not really, I’m just overly self-concious and sensitive nowadays so it seems like everyone is out to get me.
        I hope your issue is completely over now too! No-one should have to go through that.

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  9. 😦 this reminds me of the saying, misery loves company. i think there are some people who are so miserable in their own life that they don’t know how not to project that onto others. then you have the those who are weak and think traveling with the heard makes its a safe place. they will eventually learn it is not. i’d rather be strong and flying solo than cave to such deplorable behavior. i’m sorry you are still struggling with this even though its been a couple years and i hope you are able to heal from the way you were treated. hugs

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    1. Thats exactly how these people’s thinking works. I also have a suspicion that someone was using the situation to mask their own mistakes but I’m not certain.
      Ill be fine, it’s changed me in ways that can’t be undone. But hopefully I don’t have to handle that situation again. Thank you Kristi πŸ˜ƒ

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  10. BTDT. So sorry you had to go through it. Interestingly enough, I didn’t see this blog post until today, yet just last night I posted a blog about bullying. That one did not deal with workplace bullying, however. I have dealt with workplace bullying as well. Sometimes we get broadsided with everything all at once, I think people tend to doubt so much can happen at once. Who knows why because we’ve all been there. My situation was my youngest daughter breaking her ankle, and needed to go to the orthopedic each week. My oldest daughter was in a car wreck. She was fine, but her car was totaled, so we had to deal with that. My Mom had stroke, and…………I had to find a new place to live. I did my work, and never got behind, but having to be gone so much for a few weeks there, caused the tongues to wag. It sucks, and I so get how you felt! Glad you are out of that situation now! (And, yes, I am too)

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    1. Thanks for the great comment. I am out of it now and pleased to be. Its always comforting to meet someone who has been through something similar and I’m glad you’re out of it too.
      I looked on your blog and saw that you had written a post on bullying at school. I will go and look at it when I get 5 πŸ˜ƒ

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