The Enemy within the Rings #Blogbattle #Scifi

This story has been written for Rachael Ritchey‘s blog battles. It’s a weekly challenge welcome to anyone. The rules are:

  1. 1000 words max
  2. fictional tale (or true if you really want)
  3. PG (no more than PG-13) Content – let’s keep this family friendly!
  4. Your story must contain the word(s) from the theme and/or be centered around the theme in a way that shows it is clearly related
  5. Go for the entertainment value!
  6. State the Genre of your story at the top of your post.
  7. Post your story on Tuesday, by 11:59 PM PST
  8. Use the hashtag #BlogBattle when tweeting your story, put a link back to your #BlogBattle Short Story in the comments section of this page, and/or include a link to this page in your own blog post (it creates a “ping-back” which will alert me and our friends to your #BlogBattle post)
  9. Have fun!

“Slowing the ship to enter Saturn’s orbit” was Hudson’s voice in Commander Scott’s earcom.

“Bring us as close a sis safe to the rings, if there’s someone lurking out here then I don’t want to make our arrival too obvious” Scott had already gone over this approach when planning this mission, but he thought it  never hurt to re-iterate.

Commander Scott was commander of an Earth Corps frigate called the Achillies. She wasn’t the biggest, fastest or most powerful spaceship in the corps, but he knew how to handle her when it mattered. Space pirate were becoming a huge problem, but there was something different about what was going on here. Three mining vessels had disappeared in the last month in Saturn space and Achilles was the first ship on the scene to investigate the disappearances. The next spacecraft wasn’t due for a week, until then it was down to him and his crew to find out what had happened and secure the area.

“Do we have any unauthorised spacecraft in the area?” Scott was now walking along the spartan metallic corridors back to control. He wanted to make sure that this was done right and he had an uneasy feeling, space pirates had never done anything like this before.

“Nothing sir” came the reply from his operations manager. This was Gina’s first mission and was young and new, but she was very good. Scott knew he could trust her to carry out a thorough job. “All I have on sensors are the mining ships M305, M370 and M42 is just leaving Saturn space.

“Good, I’m just on my way up, let me know if anything changes” Scott replied.

“Will do sir”

It was as soon as he had heard this that suddenly, for no perceivable reason a rising sense of tension, almost fear rose within him. He started running where he has been walking, the crew that saw him coming moved, the others that didn’t weren’t so lucky. Pushing them to  one side or other he made his way to the access tube for the control centre. It was then that it happened, thrown from his feet to the deck floor, a massive explosion and the sound of grating, tearing metal reverberated though the ship.

The door to the control centre slowly slid open, Scott forced it open. He gasped as he entered to utter carnage. Hudson was on the floor, dead. His head had been shattered by shrapnel most of the rest of the bridge crew were seriously injured, only Gina was left unhurt.

“Sir!” She called over, trying to compose herself, as Scott approached she fell apart “I – I’m sorry… I saw nothing, it came from nowhere… Hudson”

“Gina” In a firm gentle tone he talked her back “We don’t have much time an I need you. We have to take control and see this through, I’ll take Hudson’s place, I’ll be right next to you. Take a breath, get control, I’m here and we have to get these guys to survive and I need you to help me”

Shaking, she returned focus to her controls “ok… ok… I can do that” Scott manned the controls on Gina’s right.

” I’m taking us close to the rings, hopefully they’ll give us cover” Achilles lurched  as he powered and guided the ship to the millions of pieces of rock and Ice that made up the rings. “Power up the weapons Gina”

“They’re powered and ready, but I don’t have a sensor target” Gina was starting the re-gain her composure, her willingness and eagerness returning.

“You don’t need it – fire a wide spread directly behind us” With that she let loose a fury a plasma fire directly behind the Achilles, Gina and Commander Scott watched as the rear view screen showed the plasma rays lancing out, hitting nothing until, one beam hit an invisible object, a huge an monstrous shape emerged from the nothingness, charging straight at them”

“Let the auto targeting system take over now, we’re at the rings” Gina set them going, the exchange of fire was blinding between the two spacecraft, their enemy unable to distinguish Achilles from the rock and ice of the rings, but the huge enemy providing an easy target. Pounding their hull with blinding white beams of power. Scott guided Achilles through the ring debris, their eager enemy hunting them out.

“We’re not going to get rid of them like this” pulling the ship down, Scott took Achilles down through the rings, hoping they wouldn’t follow – but they did. tearing through the rings the relentless hunter powered ever closer toward them.

“My God, these guys want blood!” Gina shouted, “What now?”

“I’m going closer” Swinging Achilles toward the planet, the engines powering the craft at full speed. As they watched a huge door opened on the monstrous craft.

“You’re not getting us!” Scott shouted, he pulled this ships engines into full reverse and hard up. Their bodies strained against the breaking force, metal grinding as Achilles stopped dead in space. Within seconds their enemy passed them, heading straight for the Saturn with no sign of stopping. The wash from the engines rocking Achilles. Commander Scott and Gina watched, waiting, hoping they wouldn’t turn. Hoping the damage they had sustained was enough to have disabled them. The ship didn’t seem as monstrous now, ever smaller it glowed in the planet’s atmosphere, ever brighter until a huge flash and a ball of flame meant it was over. Whatever it was, had gone.

Scott and Gina breathed again. Looking at each other for a moment.. “Well done Gina, inform command what has happened. Give them the casualty numbers and complete ships status. I’ll take us back to the rings”

“Yes sir. Thank you”

The Achilles returned to the rings, to await the assistance of the fleet, the enemy vessel was never identified.

I’ve gone a bit over again – sorry. I hope you all like it!

Simon 🙂

Copyright 2015 Simon Farnell

No ownership claimed to pictures.

50 thoughts on “The Enemy within the Rings #Blogbattle #Scifi

    1. Hi Candice, im pleased you liked it, thanks got your kind comments. Im hoping to rewrite it soon without the number limit. I had to shorten it a lot so its not the piece i was wanting it to be… How ya doing?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am doing waaay better today than I was Tuesday. Thanks 😀 I totally understand your desire to rewrite your story without the limits. I have several stories born from the blog battles that need my TLC to make them what I see them as being. Man of Grace is certainly one of them. I hope you are well.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Im ok, just got up… Tired, headache lol…
        What was wrong with uou on Tuesday? Youre ok now right?I think its great that the blog battles create these stories.
        Where you from? I thought you were from across the pond and sleeping lol

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I am from across the pond I just keep very late hours. I am working on this tho lol. I had a bout of vertigo-like symptoms due to a head cold on Tuesday. It was horrible, thus my story was limited on content as my head was spinning. I hope your head feels better, btw.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Sigh I decided to forego NaNoWriMo this year. I have to finish the other books I have started and polish those up for self publishing as that is the goal. It was a hard choice to make l because I so wanted to write a new tale. Other than that all is well.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. That is always the best way to go. 🙂 In The years past I had a friend who read my dad progress. That kept my writing going by demanding daily progress. It really helped.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. weeeell, I haven’t always been but I realized that the only bad art in the world is the art that never gets made. If we wait for the perfect time to write, we never will write….or paint or be creative. The time is now! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      7. As long as you are writing something you are on the right track. I try to focus on one project at a time but if a other yaps loud enough I will give it some writing time.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. I think it’s important to record your ideas. but to focus on the current piece. Now that I know about NaNoWriMo I can be ready for it and to a point work out the story I will write in my head a bit. Not to say it won’t change, because it certainly will.
        If I’m wise, I get it from you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Ahhh you are too kind! Sigh sometimes I wish I had a doppelganger of the non-evil variety who could do all the “other” life stuff while I simple worked on all the novels I have been itching to write.

        Liked by 1 person

      10. So… you’re saying you’re evil? lol
        I wish I had that too… either that or win the lottery so I don’t have to work lol
        You could probably get a partner in crime? Could I put my name forward for that? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      11. Ha! no not evil but Doppelgangers generally are, you know going on murderous rampages when all they were supposed to do was the laundry. It’s precarious business maintaining doppelgangers…or so I’ve read 😛 And if you did my laundry and chores then when would you get the chance to finish your writing? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      12. If it’s just the chores and laundry yes… I thought a partner in crime would be more than that though. Besides, do you really want me going through your laundry? ☺

        Liked by 1 person

  1. gripping stuff gotta love a space battle, if no-one identifies the enemy fleet is it still enemy lol I mean it could be paranoid friendlies drunk on stale space rum, who just want to play space tag but with plasma beams!?

    Liked by 1 person

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