Month October 2015

Halloween – The Ghost Called Bob

Simon 16 Comments

This is my Halloween story, my children challenged me to write this and to include the words:

Punpkin

Scary

Front Door

Apple Bobbing

Orange

Ghost

Skeleton

Decoration

Trick or Treat

Blood

It’s at this time of year when the nights draw in, the swirling mist leaks around the village and when the children go to the front door of anyone with decorations or a pumpkin that the story of Bob is remembered. No one will speak his name in a voice louder than a whisper for fear of awaking him. The children who go around trick or treating in their skeleton and ghost costumes watch in the dark corners, not daring to mention his name and hoping not to find him. It’s said Bob wears a pointed hat with a rope around his neck. Some have said he leaves a trail of blood where he walks and that he preys on the stray or lonely children.

Bob looked on as he did every year, watching the comings and goings on the one night of the year that he came out to see the festivities. He wears a pointed hat and he was always frustrated with the rope around his neck, he never put it there and neither could he get rid of it. He didn’t think he left any blood in his wake, instead Bob would look on at the fun, yearning to join in. Sometimes he would make himself known or try and look after a lonely child. He was always greeted with the same response, the screams would scare him and he would flee, sad and upset that he couldn’t join in.

Sometimes Bob would get close and watch as the happy children collected their big bags full of cakes and sweets, he wondered what they tasted like as they always looked so colourful and yet he couldn’t even pick them up and tasting them was impossible. He found his existence lonely and he wished for a friend on his one night of the year.

This year was different, it started when he heard a shriek from a group of children. He floated over as ghosts often do to see what had happened and to his surprise there was a mess of sweets all kinds of good things, spread over the floor where they had been dropped. He looked around and there she was. Dressed in a messy pink dress and wild brown hair. Now, ghosts don’t talk, they talk in ways us humans don’t understand. He found out her name was Mary and she also had felt lonely and wandered to the village when she saw the lights of the village in the distance.

They decided that this year they would have some ghostly fun. They hid down alleys and scared the little children, they popped up from out of the drains and from under cars. This was fun for a while but soon become boring so they decided to find a quiet place and some other ghosty games.

Soon thought the first dim lights of dawn could be seen in the distance and the time had come for both the ghosts to sleep for yet another year. Mary floated off and they both decided to meet up next year. With happy ghosty heart Bob found his home and settled down the long slumber. Happy that next year he would have a friend to scare all those little children and watch them as once again they skip around collecting sweets in their scary costumes.

Next year was going to be fun!

Copyright 2015 Simon Farnell

No ownership claimed to image – Image courtesy of google.

The Enemy within the Rings #Blogbattle #Scifi

Simon 50 Comments

This story has been written for Rachael Ritchey‘s blog battles. It’s a weekly challenge welcome to anyone. The rules are:

  1. 1000 words max
  2. fictional tale (or true if you really want)
  3. PG (no more than PG-13) Content – let’s keep this family friendly!
  4. Your story must contain the word(s) from the theme and/or be centered around the theme in a way that shows it is clearly related
  5. Go for the entertainment value!
  6. State the Genre of your story at the top of your post.
  7. Post your story on Tuesday, by 11:59 PM PST
  8. Use the hashtag #BlogBattle when tweeting your story, put a link back to your #BlogBattle Short Story in the comments section of this page, and/or include a link to this page in your own blog post (it creates a “ping-back” which will alert me and our friends to your #BlogBattle post)
  9. Have fun!

“Slowing the ship to enter Saturn’s orbit” was Hudson’s voice in Commander Scott’s earcom.

“Bring us as close a sis safe to the rings, if there’s someone lurking out here then I don’t want to make our arrival too obvious” Scott had already gone over this approach when planning this mission, but he thought it  never hurt to re-iterate.

Commander Scott was commander of an Earth Corps frigate called the Achillies. She wasn’t the biggest, fastest or most powerful spaceship in the corps, but he knew how to handle her when it mattered. Space pirate were becoming a huge problem, but there was something different about what was going on here. Three mining vessels had disappeared in the last month in Saturn space and Achilles was the first ship on the scene to investigate the disappearances. The next spacecraft wasn’t due for a week, until then it was down to him and his crew to find out what had happened and secure the area.

“Do we have any unauthorised spacecraft in the area?” Scott was now walking along the spartan metallic corridors back to control. He wanted to make sure that this was done right and he had an uneasy feeling, space pirates had never done anything like this before.

“Nothing sir” came the reply from his operations manager. This was Gina’s first mission and was young and new, but she was very good. Scott knew he could trust her to carry out a thorough job. “All I have on sensors are the mining ships M305, M370 and M42 is just leaving Saturn space.

“Good, I’m just on my way up, let me know if anything changes” Scott replied.

“Will do sir”

It was as soon as he had heard this that suddenly, for no perceivable reason a rising sense of tension, almost fear rose within him. He started running where he has been walking, the crew that saw him coming moved, the others that didn’t weren’t so lucky. Pushing them to  one side or other he made his way to the access tube for the control centre. It was then that it happened, thrown from his feet to the deck floor, a massive explosion and the sound of grating, tearing metal reverberated though the ship.

The door to the control centre slowly slid open, Scott forced it open. He gasped as he entered to utter carnage. Hudson was on the floor, dead. His head had been shattered by shrapnel most of the rest of the bridge crew were seriously injured, only Gina was left unhurt.

“Sir!” She called over, trying to compose herself, as Scott approached she fell apart “I – I’m sorry… I saw nothing, it came from nowhere… Hudson”

“Gina” In a firm gentle tone he talked her back “We don’t have much time an I need you. We have to take control and see this through, I’ll take Hudson’s place, I’ll be right next to you. Take a breath, get control, I’m here and we have to get these guys to survive and I need you to help me”

Shaking, she returned focus to her controls “ok… ok… I can do that” Scott manned the controls on Gina’s right.

” I’m taking us close to the rings, hopefully they’ll give us cover” Achilles lurched  as he powered and guided the ship to the millions of pieces of rock and Ice that made up the rings. “Power up the weapons Gina”

“They’re powered and ready, but I don’t have a sensor target” Gina was starting the re-gain her composure, her willingness and eagerness returning.

“You don’t need it – fire a wide spread directly behind us” With that she let loose a fury a plasma fire directly behind the Achilles, Gina and Commander Scott watched as the rear view screen showed the plasma rays lancing out, hitting nothing until, one beam hit an invisible object, a huge an monstrous shape emerged from the nothingness, charging straight at them”

“Let the auto targeting system take over now, we’re at the rings” Gina set them going, the exchange of fire was blinding between the two spacecraft, their enemy unable to distinguish Achilles from the rock and ice of the rings, but the huge enemy providing an easy target. Pounding their hull with blinding white beams of power. Scott guided Achilles through the ring debris, their eager enemy hunting them out.

“We’re not going to get rid of them like this” pulling the ship down, Scott took Achilles down through the rings, hoping they wouldn’t follow – but they did. tearing through the rings the relentless hunter powered ever closer toward them.

“My God, these guys want blood!” Gina shouted, “What now?”

“I’m going closer” Swinging Achilles toward the planet, the engines powering the craft at full speed. As they watched a huge door opened on the monstrous craft.

“You’re not getting us!” Scott shouted, he pulled this ships engines into full reverse and hard up. Their bodies strained against the breaking force, metal grinding as Achilles stopped dead in space. Within seconds their enemy passed them, heading straight for the Saturn with no sign of stopping. The wash from the engines rocking Achilles. Commander Scott and Gina watched, waiting, hoping they wouldn’t turn. Hoping the damage they had sustained was enough to have disabled them. The ship didn’t seem as monstrous now, ever smaller it glowed in the planet’s atmosphere, ever brighter until a huge flash and a ball of flame meant it was over. Whatever it was, had gone.

Scott and Gina breathed again. Looking at each other for a moment.. “Well done Gina, inform command what has happened. Give them the casualty numbers and complete ships status. I’ll take us back to the rings”

“Yes sir. Thank you”

The Achilles returned to the rings, to await the assistance of the fleet, the enemy vessel was never identified.

I’ve gone a bit over again – sorry. I hope you all like it!

Simon 🙂

Copyright 2015 Simon Farnell

No ownership claimed to pictures.

Friday Funny: Tazer Test

Simon 12 Comments

Picture taken from Google Images – catroonclipart.com

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.

The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer.

The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her
adequate time to retreat to safety….??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul)while I was reading the directions and thinking
that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.
But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work
as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy,
bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best …

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, ‘Don’t do it stupid,’ reasoning that a one
second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.
I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and …

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD .. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE ….!!!

I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs!

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst
when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat
up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it
originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain,
and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!


P.s… My wife can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

Autumn Leaves

Simon 8 Comments

I love the crisp fallen leaves, the noise of their rustling as I kick through them calms my soul. Its one of the things I look forward to in Autumn…

image

Happy Friday fellow bloggies.

Simon ☺

Siblinghood of the World Bloggers Award

Simon 15 Comments

I was for nominated for the Siblinghood of the World Bloggers Award by Rachael Ritchey. Thanks ever so much for this Rach – your silly minion appreciates it 😀

I also like that this has changed from sisterhood. I appreciate the need to include you ladies in everything, but I think it’s safe to say you vastly outnumber us guys here lol

She keeps a shelf brimming with books, loves to discuss them, and is sweet as can be. You should definitely stop by her blog and say hi. Tell her Rachael sent you. 😉

THE RULES:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to their blog in your post.
  2. Answer the questions that the blogger who nominated you has provided.
  3. Nominate ten other bloggers (or up to 10).
  4. Create ten questions for your nominees and notify them of their nominations.

Let’s get to Jane’s Questions for me:

  • If a cloud followed you everywhere you went, always raining above your head, but never got you wet, would you search for a way to be rid of it or would you ignore it? Why?

This sounds like the guy in Hitch Hikers who didn’t know he was a rain god and was constantly rained on. If it’s there and not bothering me why get rid of it. Sure for a while I would try, but why define your life around a cloud?

  • What was the first book you read that made you truly love reading?

2001 A Space Odyssey. I was totally absorbed by it.

  • If you could go out to a late night social function with any character from any book, who would it be, and why?

Is Lara Croft in a book?

  • What would you do with a magic pen that any time you wrote with it, it created whatever you described?

There would be a lot of fun to have with this kind of pen, I really don’t know and my mind is going nuts thinking about it. But I think I would have to see exactly what I could get from from it. So who knows?

  • How often have you stopped reading a book before finishing it?

Very rarely, I like to finish what I start.

  • Where is the one place on the planet you wouldn’t mind getting lost?

Anywhere peaceful with nothing about to eat me.

  • When given the opportunity to meet your favorite author, who would it be and what would you say?

My favorite author is Aurthur C Clarke, although I would like to meet him, I also kind of wouldn’t – he might tell me what happened in all his stories.

  • What is your favorite color?

Blue, not dark, or royal – kind of pastel.

  • Where is your least favorite place to read, but in a pinch it will do?

On my sofa. There’s always a distraction.

  • If offered the opportunity to visit a fictional world, where would you go and what kind of character would you become?

I would like the become a crew member of a star ship and see the universe. Not one of the ones that always gets killed off though.

Nominations:

  1. Claire Huston
  2. newenglandnomad
  3. teacuptalk
  4. Laura
  5. bookedsolid1989
  6. Charley
  7. Candice

I didn’t do 10 – I’ve already done some nominations today 🙂

So, here are your questions folks:

  • What’s your favorite male character in a book and why?
  • What’s your favorite female character in a book and why?
  • What’s the one thing that happened in a book that you would like to do?
  • What would you do with a magic pen that any time you wrote with it, it created whatever you described (I liked this so I kept it)?
  • What’s the book you couldn’t put down?
  • Where in the universe would you like to go? Why?
  • Who is your favorite author?
  • Have you ever read a book that you didn’t want anyone to know you had read? What was it?
  • What book has made you feel something the most intensely? What did you feel?
  • If offered the opportunity to visit a fictional world, where would you go and what kind of character would you become?

There you go – I hope you join in the fun!

Simon 🙂

Big and Stupid Statements

Simon 5 Comments

The UK is Colder than the Arctic – That’s a good one, we have three centimetres of snow and that’s the front page news – do you really believe this? Because I think you’re talking utter rubbish. So of course in summer time it stands to reason that in summer the UK is hotter than Spain, Greece or Rome. Hmmm… were these places suffering a wet day at the same time? Some of the outlandish claims made in papers are so plainly the result of their journalists not finding something else more interesting and turning a lost dog story into something about the dog being found by a Mars lander probe or something.

Another one I like is when unemployment is said to have fallen. This would normally be because powers that be have changed the way they measure it… again. I also notice how it goes up and down depending on unfolding political events…. like elections for example.

I heard it once said that the only thing you should believe in the papers is the date – sometimes they get that wrong though.

Nowhere are these kinds of dumb statements or descriptions more widely used than in products. Particularly food. Here’s some examples:

Line caught fish – We don not have thousands of fisherman line catching the fish for the supermarkets. If you do, they’re from a far away country and therefore has gone off on the trip here.

Low fat cakes / puddings – Really? Let’s have a close look. Yes, compared to lard it is low in fat.

Extra tasty Cheddar – Thanks for the salt guys…

The problem with today is that sensationalism and making things look or sound better are considered to be not only a good thing to do but necessary in order to make things look interesting or attractive to buy. Look at what’s happened to Volkswagen recently, it’s the same thing. Making something out to be better than it actually is. Finding our way through the minefield of lies isn’t easy, but often using a few of those ever greying cells can help us to see beyond the veil.

Have a great day all – have fun and be careful!

Simon 🙂

Creative Blogger Award

Simon 10 Comments

image

Thank you so much, Laura from Today’s Dose of Sanity for nominating me for this award. I always like waking up in the morning to see what you guys have been doing while I’ve been sleeping – This morning I got a total surprise and had an award! As always I’m touched by the compliment so thank you, thank you Laura… you’re a star! 🙂

RULES FOR THE CREATIVE BLOGGER:

*Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog.
*Share 5 facts about yourself.
*Nominate some bloggers in return and notify them of their nomination.
*Keep the rules in your post so it makes it easy for everyone to know what to do.

My nominees:

Morgan – She’s got a great eye for a picture and her camera is busy. A great bloggie too 🙂

Chelsea – A great creative writer that needs more exposure.

Beaton – The things that go on in this guy’s mind 😀

Karen – Always up to something a fellow engineer which deserves recognition.

Five facts about me… in memes 🙂

1. I’m on my phone a lot, like Laura I use it for everything and I get frustrated because my phone can’t cope with it all? I mean – come on?!? How hard can it be. Also, I don’t use my phone while driving, so when my family knows I’m on the way home and they call me, it can be frustrating!

2. Many of you already know that I love Scifi. If I’m not watching it I’m reading it and lately I’ve started getting idea and actually writing it. Look up my other blog https://universeofpossibility.wordpress.com/ for some of this.

3. I love baking… you should get this from some of my previous posts 😉

wpid-wp-1444596561092.jpeg

4. Someone said to me today that I seem to be someone that goes out on their own to get things done. Yep, I can safely say if something needs doing then I’m inclined to do it myself!

5. I’m not normal – I’m an engineer and this is the kind of thing that I make:

IMAG0768 IMAG0442

I hope you enjoyed this – as always I hope you join in with this and thank you again to Laura.

Simon 🙂

“Be Thankful” Challenge

Simon 31 Comments

I was given this award by a fellow Englander – a lovely young lady Morgan and I was surprised and touched to get nominated for it – thank you Morgan 🙂

Just so you know Morgan, if you hadn’t of sent this to me – you would be nominated!

Be Thankful Challenge
The Rules

– Share this image in your blog post
– Write about 5 people in your life you are thankful for
– Write about 5 things in 2015 that you are thankful for
– Spread the love and challenge 5 other blogs to take part 

5 People I’m Thankful For in 2015:

I’m most of all thankful for my mum. Sadly no longer with us but she taught me how to behave and treat people, respect and honesty. She looked after me and my brothers before she thought of herself and for that I will always be grateful.

I’m thankful for my family, who despite making my hair fall out give me someone to love.

I’m thankful for Mike Baggot, Ron Poil and other people I remember from my childhood who as a child you take for granted but miss when they are gone.

I’m thankful for those people in my life who have helped me get to where I am and have had faith in me.

I’m thankful for all of my bloggies who follow me, like my trash and are all so lovely. There are those on here that I know better than most and for those I’m especially thankful – you’re all great and I love you all 🙂

5 Things I’m Thankful For in 2015:

I’m thankful for my job that I’ve still got it.

I’m thankful for my health and that I’m still alive and walking.

I’m thankful for my old car bless her, 16 years old and tonnes of miles on the clock but still going.

I’m thankful for the knowledge I’ve gained

I’m thankful for all I have and the fact i live in a place free from violence.

5 Nominations:

There are more of you and you know who you are. You’re all fantastic and I’m thankful to you all.

Simon 🙂