From the slurping of tea, to the gurgling of water and the crunching, munching, chewing of an Apple, working in a small office is driving me up the damn wall! The office is meant to take 6 people maximum according to the health and safety rules, however we have 8 people often jammed in. I get in early so I can get space and quiet for a little time before the rest of the gang arrive. Starting early at about 9am the first of them enter, slurping their tea – grr… Then one after the other they all arrive normally all slurping their tea or gurgling back a glass of water. Oh pleeeease for the love of mercy stop this torture!
The morning continues with a rustle, crunch, chomp in between more slurps and gurgles. When lunchtime comes I cannot sit around and listen to the chicken and salad sandwiches being masticated and digested. I have to leave and sit somewhere quiet. I find the bench around the corner and lose myself in a little Lord of the Rings while I munch away – Away from others so they don’t have to hear me!
I walk back into the office, now a little more chilled. This soon ends and it now feels like I’ve walked into a oven. Wow, it’s so hot and my colleague insists on keeping the windows shut because (and I quote) “I don’t want the cold on my neck”. I want to yell – It’s July for crying out loud! Pleeease can open the window? Or turn on the aircon? Nope – no way. Grumbling I get on with some work, trying to concentrate in the baking, melting heat.
I’m flagging by about 3pm, woken starkly by the sound of water being guzzled, then ‘crunch’ someone is now eating an apple. Oh for fuck’s sake! Back on with the headphones, playing Two Steps from Hell – appropriately because that’s what this feels like. By the time I get to go at about 4.30pm I’m ready to go and sticking around is not on my mind. If you also working in an over populated office you have my sympathies, I’m not an antisocial person, I’m actually quite happy on the whole, despite it all. Neither am I prone to violence – normally, however I find it increasingly difficult to stay sane when I hear my colleagues consume in such intimate detail. So who ever in management thinks cramming people in is good – you fucking try it! Simon 🙂
Simon's Space 
Reminds me of Tennyson’s “Saint Simeon Stylites.” Only with more reason here for having something (someones) more real to react to. I just read your interview in Amanda’s blog. I appreciate your responses there; they come across with interest and authenticity. The better kinds. Thank you!
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Thanks for taking the time to comment. I liked Amanda’s interview, i try to come across as interesting and honest as possible. The reader gets a little piece of me with every post ☺
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At a part time office job I had during college, I used to eat granola bars and apples throughout the day because I didn’t have time for a real lunch break. You would’ve hated me!
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Lol. Maybe, I’m sure I couldn’t hate you though 🙂
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Aww, thanks. 😁
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It just would’ve be right 🙂
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It’s been some time since I have had to do this but my husband routinely complains his coworker has banged into the back of his legs with his chair x number of times that day. And the guy is not being a jerk, there is just so little space between them if the coworker slides back more than the absolute minimum he runs into my husband at his standing desk.
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I know how he feels. I left that bit out lol
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